On the way home everyone looks like they want to sleep or get absolutely pissed so they don’t have to remember this shit excuse of a Monday, but then they realise they’ve got to be up at half five the next day to do it all again. Don’t get me wrong having the sun as your companion on the way home is a real bonus, over winter you’d go in in the dark and leave the office in the dark and it really made you rethink life.
I sit here chewing on my pen struggling to write a press release because all I can think is “why does that man keep looking at me funny?”. Okay, yes I have a pen in my mouth like a dog holds a bone but no need to stare mate. I can normally bash out a product alert rather quickly when I’m in the flow of things, pun after pun, but I just need something to put the spring back in my step, that would be a real re-leaf!
So I’m thinking, what do these people do in the day? One guy really intrigued me last week. So I was sat in my usual seat trying to sleep, as I do every morning, and this guys phone was in full view. By this point I worked out that I could read all the messages he sent and received, so why not snoop a little and make my journey into a work a bit more bareable. Right, so, this guy probably late 20s early 30s messaged about 15 different women on 4 different messaging apps in the space of 10 mins. Now they could be friends but when he starts having nick names for all of them I’m like wow plaaayeerrr. He then begins to look at knives and that’s when I’m like what the hell does he do? Me being the over imaginative person I am was like oh shit he’s going to kill them, he’s a catfish, he’s lying to all of them. I tell my dad and he’s just like hmm Yeh and goes back to his book. I can see their names at this point, do I 1. Message them all. 2. Tell him to stop being a creep. Or 3. None of the above because I’ve got to London and he’s already off the train and down the platform because I’ve been day dreaming from stevenage to Kings cross. Well I guess I’ll never know if he’s planning to open up a restaurant or gut a fish, but let’s hope it’s one of them.